The having consciousness is not fixed in being, nor does it trust that our being is complete, balanced and whole. This frame of mind lacks the conviction that the intrinsic nature of the self is a foundation and wellspring of all auspiciousness. With consciousness in the result, we are commitment-driven, rather than history-driven. Commitment-driven means that our vision moves us, inspires our action and connects us with our being. History-driven means being limited by our past; our past experiences and results determine and constrain what is possible now and in our future. My past level of happiness, fulfillment, relationship satisfaction and financial success determines what I believe is possible for me now and into the future. Commitment-driven consciousness recognizes that “till now,” I may have experienced myself as weak, hopeless, a victim, bitter and limited in my achievements by various beliefs and circumstances; but from now on I am a vibrant, successful, inspiring person who boldly declares and manifests his vision.
EXCERPTS FROM RELATIONSHIPS THAT WORK: THE POWER OF CONSCIOUS LIVING BY DR. DAVID WOLF
BE-DO-HAVE REVISTED
Be-Do-Have consciousness is joyful, contented and powerful from the start. Living these qualities, I naturally do the things that joyful, contented and powerful people do—with the result that I have things that joyful, contented and powerful people have. Being compassionate, loving and confident, I naturally act in ways that compassionate, loving and confident people act—and thus I have what compassionate, loving and confident people have. The salient point about Be-Do-Have is not that it culminates in have, but that it originates in be.
BE-DO-HAVE
“Certainly a fulfilled life includes having comforts and enjoyable things, and doing things that give us pleasure. Yet without being rooted in a life of meaning founded in and emanating from our spiritual being, possessions and activity are hollow, devoid of significance, like a string of zeros. Living from the inside outwards, from our spiritual core, is the “1” that gives value to the line of zeros.”
David B. Wolf – Relationships That Work
BELIEF BARRIERS
“What are some belief barriers that you are holding onto? Identify what you are telling yourself—about yourself, about life, about commitment, wealth and happiness—that prevents you from full achievement. It is a principle of creation that things go from subtle to gross. Change begins in the world of ideas. What is happening externally is a reflection of what is happening internally. Shining the light of awareness on what is going on inside uncovers creative potential that has been locked away.”
David B. Wolf – Relationships That Work
INTEGRITY AND BOUNDARIES
To assert ourselves means to know ourselves. If I want to assert myself I need to know what I believe, what I feel, what I think and what is truly important for me. Thus, assertiveness is indispensable for a life of spiritual integrity. In examining my core principles, beliefs and aspirations, it is important to distinguish between what I think “should” be my principles, feelings and values, and what my actions actually reveal them to be. Such awareness is an important part of the process of spiritual development and genuine assertive expression.
WARMTH, EMPATHY & GENUINENESS
The essential qualities of an effective helper are warmth, empathy and genuineness (WEG). That is to say, regardless of the theoretical orientation of the counselor or school of techniques used, the extent to which the practitioners possessed warmth, empathy and genuineness directly corresponded with successful results. Warmth, empathy and genuineness are inherent qualities of the self. Thus effective helping is not dependent on university degrees or experience in the mental health professions.
SERVICE AS OUR DHARMA
From observation we can understand that our dharma is to serve. As sugar cannot avoid being sweet, so we too cannot avoid serving. It is our constitutional nature. Where there is a human being, there is service. We may direct our propensity to service in different directions; perhaps we serve our nation, family or company, our belly, an ideology or our species. The way in which we manage our propensity to serve will greatly influence our experiences of life, and of ourselves.
