The opportunity to realize my true nature sits before me. Sometimes I feel scared or stressed, yet the opportunity to grow beckons – saying, if you want it, here it is, here you are – NOW.
SELF-AWARENESS AND ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING
What Is The Need For Assertiveness Training?
Consider a time when, due to fear, you expressed yourself with less than full honesty, or didn’t express yourself at all. Also bring to mind a time when you did communicate your anger, but in an unhealthy way, perhaps with belligerence, or hostility that you felt bad about afterwards. Such interpersonal situations point to the value of assertiveness training.
A Life Of Integrity
Effective assertiveness training entails realizing who we are, apart from the roles we play, and the masks we wear. Assertiveness, as a balanced way of being, is not just a skill; it’s intrinsic to a life of integrity. If we’re living life in fear, too scared to express our truth, we’re withholding our authentic contribution, and not fulfilling our highest destiny. Similarly, if we aggressively make our points with self-absorbed antagonism, we’re also not participating in life and relationships in the most sublime way.
Assertiveness Training = Courage + Consideration
With assertive communication we convey our perspective powerfully, boldly, and also with consideration. Assertiveness training supports us in courageously sharing our point of view, in a life-enriching way, with respect and without intending to damage or hurt.
Self-Realization And Assertiveness Training
To the extent that we’re self-realized, we’ll be effective in assertively communicating our experience so that others get us.
“The greatest danger, that of losing one’s own self, may pass off quietly as if it were nothing; every other loss, that of an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc., is sure to be noticed.” Soren Kierkegaard
In Satvatove’s transformative communication approach to self-realization, we learn to notice which parts of ourselves have become “lost”. With such awareness we get to connect with internal qualities that till now have been less than fully alive. In this process of self-awareness we’re inspired and clear about what precisely we want to assert.
What Happened . . . Really
A key for effective assertiveness training is the capacity to differentiate between what actually happened, and our interpretation of, or reaction to, what happened. For example, I might think that what happened is “You are always so inconsiderate and irresponsible, leaving your dishes in the sink.” Actually, though, that’s not an objective statement of what happened. A precise “what happened” statement might sound like “During the past five days I found unwashed dishes in the sink, used by you, three times, more than 12 hours after you used them.”
As Marshall Rosenberg poetically expressed:
“I can handle your telling me
what I did or didn’t do
And I can handle your interpretations
but please don’t mix the two.
If you want to confuse any issue,
I can tell you how to do it;
Mix together what I do
with how you react to it.
Tell me that you’re disappointed
with the unfinished chores you see,
But calling me “irresponsible”
is no way to motivate me…”
Own Your Communication
Another aspect of excellence in assertiveness training is to own our communication. For example, where’s the power for my anger if I say “You make me so angry”? The language of such a statement indicates a consciousness that places the power for my emotions outside of me. In other words, I’m not accepting responsibility for my experience.
In Satvatove assertiveness training you’ll learn to master “I” statements, the WIN strategy, and many other methods for deeply satisfying personal communication. For further insight into the connection between integrity, self-realization and assertiveness training, read Be A Distinction [link to article entitled Be A Distinction].
Satvatove Institute is renowned internationally for its empathic listening, leadership and assertiveness training. In this short video you’ll get a taste of the special flavor that characterizes transformative communication, the Satvatove approach to high-level relating and self-awareness.
Dr. David Wolf, author of Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living, has facilitated seminars and workshops in more than a dozen countries, and has been extensively featured as a communication and assertiveness training expert on media outlets such as Fox News and CNN News.
“Assertive” doesn’t mean abrasive or offensive. It means you being connected with who you are and asserting that. Also it means detached. Assertiveness is not merely a skill; it’s intrinsic to a life of integrity…