Posts Tagged ‘appreciation’
FROM SIMONE
“To retake the Foundational Seminar was an extremely valuable experience for me and I’d like to thank you for this opportunity. I didn’t think it would be such a deep and meaningful experience I could have in only three days. At the same time I could feel that something important was going on with me since I decided to be here. I felt a strong resistance against being here at the beginning. I am very happy, glad and also a little proud of myself that I did it and didn’t hide myself. I feel right now a lot of appreciation for myself. I feel that in the processes I went through I could really leave many doubts about myself behind and fully accept myself where I am at. With the wonderful group and atmosphere I felt really appreciated and valued. This helped me a lot not to push myself, but simply be where I wanted to be. Even if there was a lot of pain and insecurity I let them be there without judging myself so hard as I did before. This helped me a lot to build the trust that everything goes the way it is meant to be. I am a part of this but not responsible on my own. There will always be help and love. The only thing I get to do is allow myself to take it.”
Simone
CONSCIOUS GRATITUDE
“Consciously being grateful and expressing thankfulness connects us moment-to-moment with the spiritual self’s sense of wonder and discovery. In giving appreciation we responsibly participate in the celebration and experience of life.”
David Wolf
TO RECEIVE APPRECIATION
Excerpt From A Coaching Letter - By David B. Wolf
“What is the spirit in which to receive appreciation?”
I think that when we are in spiritually-connected consciousness we receive all genuine appreciation in the spirit of ‘It’s not about me. Rather, they are perceiving some qualities of the divine that I am fortunate to be reflecting.’ So, in such a state of mind we don’t become proud or arrogant when we receive appreciation, and neither do we deny or block the flow of giving, appreciation and affection. We receive it in a mood of celebrating our divine nature and quality.
ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
Excerpt from “Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living”
By David B. Wolf
Suppose we hear comments from another person about ourselves. Even if these comments seem completely inaccurate to us, we can appreciate the value in knowing that someone, perhaps representing many others, perceives us in that way. With such information we can adjust our presentation (which is different than compromising our genuineness) so that the perception people have of us is consistent with what is inside us. If the feedback we hear does strike a chord, perhaps causing us to react, then that may be an indication of an area for productive introspection. Even if the delivery of the feedback was not as caring and compassionate as we might have preferred, and even if we suspect that the comments significantly reflect on the other person’s issues, still we can use the observations for our own self-realization.
Accepting constructive feedback with an appreciative spirit, we are grateful that this person cared enough about us to be honest. Similarly, by our willingness to share honestly with people in our life, we give them the opportunity to respond honestly to us, to who we actually are. Otherwise, relationships degenerate to a pretentious exchange designed to maintain shallow, false facades, at the expense of vitality and the spiritual fulfillment that results from genuine reciprocation.
There also exists directly appreciative feedback, where we share with each other about qualities and behaviors that inspire and move us. In sharing appreciative comments it is especially enriching to be concrete, to specifically state what it is about the other person that we value and admire. For example, to say to someone, “You taught a good class” is not particularly concrete. In fact, it could be considered to be a judgment. Although it may be regarded as a positive judgment, it still may be a barrier to communication—just as much as a negative judgment is. This sort of compliment does not provide the receiver with as full an experience and understanding of thankfulness as a statement such as: “When you spoke about and demonstrated empathy, and about people not caring what we know till they know that we care, and about the power of completely entering the world of another person, I sensed worlds of possibilities open up for me, and felt so hopeful and grateful to be alive. I teach high school students, and this workshop has provided me so many exciting tools and principles to enhance my service to my students.” With such a statement the receiver clearly knows what he did that was appreciated, and how the person felt as a result.
Expressing appreciation in sattva guna means that our intention is to celebrate the life-enriching qualities of others, with no motive to manipulate or coerce, or to fulfill some personal agenda. Such sattvic gratitude is a cornerstone of spiritual life. Research has demonstrated that an attitude of gratitude is a key element of a fulfilled life … Practicing gratitude, intentionally being thankful, transforms how we view and experience the world. It infuses us with power to convert our most challenging times into sources of meaning and inspiration. Consciously being grateful and expressing thankfulness connects us moment-to-moment with the spiritual self’s sense of wonder and discovery. In giving appreciation we responsibly participate in the celebration and experience of life.
Receiving appreciation is also a wonderful opportunity to give to people. It is a chance to recognize that we contribute to joy and well-being, that we can be an instrument for the supreme spirit to nurture the lives of others. To receive gratitude in a sattvic manner means that we avoid snares such as feeling superior and arrogant, or denying that we are deserving (which deprives others of the fulfillment of having their appreciation gracefully received).
From William McLeod
I was resistant and skeptical to the idea of this at first. However, the reality of the immeasurable value of the course became apparent within the first three hours of the first day of the Foundational Seminar… This course has awakened potential within me I forgot I had. I want more! I would recommend it to everyone! Thank you!
Satvatove, Foundational Course, January 2010
Gainesville, Florida
From Stephanie Panico
It’s not a joke. Whatever preconceived notions you have about seminars that say they can change your life, throw them out the door. This is a real thing. The life you want is attainable through this. I walked in here thinking that I had been duped into paying for a fake motivational course. I am walking out with a newfound look on life- A new paradigm that never existed for me before. My confidence and trust in myself is soaring. This course far and beyond exceeded my expectations and has made me a new person. I feel like I found me!
Satvatove, Foundational Course, January 2010
Gainesville, Florida
True Power in Police Work: A Story of Transformation
by Jens Kirschner
From the Satvatove Archive:
In February 2006 I visited the Satvatove communication and transformation seminars. Till that time I considered myself as intelligent, self-confident, male and superior. I was able to express myself very well and convince others about my views. Discussions were battles for me that I wanted to win. Based on what I had heard about the Foundational Course, I did not consider it to be of great importance for me. I looked at the Advanced Course as a challenge.
In both courses I experienced completely new patterns and ways of dealing with myself and other people. Already in the Foundational Seminar I felt shaken, confused, weak and needy. Several times I wanted to run away as I was rediscovering my emotional personality. At the end of the Advanced Seminar I had decided to leave my job as a police officer, as my newly discovered “soft” side didn’t seem to fit that occupation anymore. However, at the start of the course we had agreed not to make major life decisions till at least two weeks after the end of the seminar, so I remained in my job.
After the courses I developed a new kind of self-confidence. I’ve reflected on myself and have learnt to accept other people with different opinions. I’ve learned to care about myself and in doing so I’ve also learned to show my environment that I care. I wouldn’t say my life is easier now. In some ways it has become more difficult since I’ve started to genuinely take responsibility for my life. But I have so much more energy available now and for the first time in my life I really feel alive.
My personal change has definitely affected my work as a police officer. Colleagues and citizens feel understood by me, valued and accepted. They have expressed how they have noticed and appreciate the shift in my character. I now feel much safer in my dealings as a policeman. Conflict situations are much less about me personally. In recent months, due to awareness of myself and attentiveness to be empathic in communication, I have encountered only one situation where a citizen resisted my actions in my law enforcement capacity.
In that special case I acted with fierce determination, while simultaneously considerate towards the offender. He was aggressive, and a threat to other young men present, as well as to myself and other police officers. To protect everyone involved I acted quickly and firmly. I did this with calm, with clear intention not to harm. I forced the offender to the ground, and the situation was efficiently resolved. Afterwards I helped the young man to his feet and with gentleness explained about further procedures. My colleagues were amazed that the encounter ended in an almost friendly mood between everyone. Instead of leaving police work, I am endeavoring to integrate my discovered qualities and personal communication strategies into this vocation, and the results have been deeply rewarding.
Attitude of Gratitude
Towards the end of December we held a Satvatove appreciation dinner here in North Florida, where, since 1999 there have been 25 Foundational Seminars, 14 Advanced Seminars, 8 Life Mastery Programs, and dozens of workshops and other Satvatove adventures. In attendance were about 20 Satvatove graduates who have contributed in special ways to sharing and expanding the impact of the Satvatove experience. Tears flowed. Laughter abounded. It was a memorably sweet experience, fulfilling in every respect- emotionally, spiritually, and gastronomically- as Dave cooked and we all stuffed ourselves beyond reasonable limits.
The special contributions represented at the dinner were quite diverse, covering areas such as accounting, video production, staffing, Satvatove Summit cruise organization, and assistance with room set-up for seminars. Reflecting on the past year I am moved to especially recognize those who took a stand and created a Satvatove seminar. Sometimes we say that if twenty people are interested and excited about a course happening in a particular locality- the course doesn’t happen. However, if one person has clear intention- “This course will happen”- then the seminar manifests. And of course, then the other 10, 20 or 30 who are enthusiastic contribute and synergize, around the one whose commitment is unshakable.
Sanya, Annette and Peter moved mountains in Switzerland to organize two combined Foundational/Advanced Seminars in 2009. This was the fourth set of Satvatove seminars organized by Sanya since 2006, and my heartfelt appreciation goes to her for these prodigious efforts. There has been a resurgence in Satvatove spirit in North Florida, and Lacey is the main reason for this. Our gratitude goes to Lacey for organizing the Foundational in March, 2009, and fully energizing the other courses in North Florida with the many workshops she has arranged, her caring heart and her unstoppable determination. Breaking new ground (or perhaps, ice) were Tina and Krista. Tina refused to acknowledge any obstacles and organized a Foundational in Edmonton in February (-30 F in the sun), and Krista transcended all limitations in creating the Satvatove Foundational in Petersboro, Ontario. Bringing together international forces, Sanaka manifested an unforgettable spiritual, transformative experience in Vrndavana, India, in November. And special thanks to Govinda Syer for arranging for pervasive Satvatove presence, including several workshops and presentations, at the mela in Los Angeles, and for his ongoing, active support for the programs of Satvatove for the past decade.
Creating With Our Word
In The Beginning Was The Word
Just as the supreme creates with his word, we too, as parts of the ultimate source, create our lives with our word. In the Vedic tradition there is a literature called Upadeshamrita, or The Nectar of Instruction. It is a short book, and concludes with a depiction of the most elevated spiritual consciousness. The initial sentence of The Nectar of Instruction describes the importance of controlling words, for anyone interested in spiritual progress.Throughout the Satvatove programs we have opportunity to be aware of our relationship with our word, and its effect on our life and relationships.
Exercise
Whether or not you’ve participated in the Foundational Seminar, I ask the readers to go through a process similar to an exercise in that course. Bring to mind a time when someone made an agreement with you, and broke that agreement, and afterwards you saw the person face-to-face. Connect with this experience. Write down two or three words describing what this experience was like. Next, bring to mind a time when someone made a commitment to you, and kept it, and afterwards you saw the person, in-person. Again, connect with this experience, and on a separate list write what that felt like. Now think of an example when you made an agreement with someone, and you broke it, and afterwards you saw that person, face-to-face. Connect inside, and write a few words describing that experience. Lastly, recall an instance when you made a commitment with someone and fulfilled it. What was that like? Write it down on a separate list.
Typically, the broken agreements lists include experiences and feelings such as hurt, embarrassment, anger, undependable, confused, unclear, devalued, and disappointed. In the agreements-kept column we characteristically find words such as trust, grateful, responsible, fulfilled, secure, clear, respected, and honored. The purpose here is not to moralize about the importance of keeping our promises. It’s simply about realizing how our relationship with our word affects our experience of life. When we violate our word, then, based on our experience, as evidenced by the lists we’ve generated, our confidence and trust in others tends to decrease, and feelings like resentment, distrust, and pain are predominant. And, when we honor our agreements, confidence and trust increases, and we tend to develop an experience and environment of appreciation, affection, and harmony.
No Big or Small Agreements
Connected with this conversation about the results of our relation with our word, I’d like to offer that there aren’t big or small agreements. Consider, for example, that I say, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” and I don’t call you tomorrow. We may think, “Well, it’s no big deal.” With respect to our relationship, however, will the consequences from the broken agreements list manifest? Probably they will. Probably, at some level, your trust for me will diminish, and our relationship will feel less clean than before.
Certainly, we could think of instances where a person breaks his agreement, and the consequences discussed above perhaps will not be in effect. Suppose you’ve agreed to be somewhere at 9 AM. You stop on the side of the road and save someone’s life, and arrive at your appointment at 10 AM. Did you keep your agreement? No, though perhaps in this exceptional instance the unpleasant consequences usually attending violated commitments will not be in effect, because you served an even higher principle. I assert, though, that the vast majority of the times that we transgress our word, harmful effects materialize. Rarely are our “good stories” for not honoring our agreements actually “good stories”, in the sense that our justifications don’t negate the adverse, destructive experiences.
Many of us carry in our subconscious an equation that looks like:
Keeping Agreement =
Not Keeping Agreement
+
A Good Story
And this formula has corollaries, such as:
Being on Time =
Not Being on Time
+
A Good Story
It’s not that one side of the equation is always greater than the other. Above we cited an example – stopping on the side of the road to save a life – where the “good story” side may actually be weightier. We’re claiming that the equation isn’t an equality, though usually, more than 99% of the time, respecting our word will create an experience of life and relationship that is much more satisfying than breaching our promise.
To Grow Entails Making Challenging Commitments And Honoring Them
If we’re not creating commitment in our life, it’s likely that we’re also not sufficiently stretching ourselves to expand our limits and possibilities. If we do give our agreement, we’ll probably find that, despite our best efforts, we sometimes don’t follow through. A strategy for handling broken agreements with integrity is also a valuable tool for spiritual transformation and restoring relationships.
The Five As
A strategy we use in the Satvatove community is the “five As.” The five As are 1) acknowledge, 2) accept responsibility, 3) account, 4) apologize, and 5) amend.
“Acknowledge” means to recognize that we have a broken agreement, and to express this to the person whom we transgressed. We’re not justifying, or defending, or rationalizing that we haven’t broken a commitment. Acknowledgement also consists of empathically understanding the pain, disappointment, loss of trust, and other emotions we have caused by violating our word. Accepting responsibility, the second of the As, denotes realization that I responded in a particular way – or neglected to respond in a particular way – that caused me to not honor my word. I’m not playing the blame game; I’m accepting responsibility, and expressing that to the person to whom I broke a commitment. The third A is Account. Expression of accountability consists of genuinely explaining what happened. “Explanation” does not mean “defense,” or “excuse,” or “justification.” This truthful explanation may sometimes be rewarding, such as the example where we save a life at the expense of keeping our word. More often, though, our explanations may be unflattering, such as explaining, “I spaced-out about our appointment because I was watching television,” or “I paid a few bills instead of timely paying my debt.”
Apology is the fourth A, and it’s important to note that it’s fourth, not first. Oftentimes we act like apology is the first and only step in effectively handling a broken agreement. “I’m sorry” can be more about my need to look good, to restore my image, than about sincerely expressing remorse and reinstating the soundness of the relationship. Even more, we can imprudently use “I apologize” as implicit permission to do the same thing again. Without acknowledging what we’ve done, accepting responsibility and honestly accounting for it, apology can be hollow. Following the first three As, apology is a natural step in managing broken commitments. Amend is the fifth A, and consists of doing what we’re able to redress the situation. We may approach the other party for ideas for remedial action.
Create a Culture of Trust
Through making and keeping agreements we grow and strengthen our relationships. Each of us can identify things we could do, things we should do, to better our lives. My proposal is that before we end our day today we each make a commitment, and keep it. It could be apparently large or small. The significant point is that by creating and fulfilling an agreement, we create a culture of trust, security and optimism.
