Posts Tagged ‘Commitment’
CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE RESULT & DETACHMENT FROM THE OUTCOME
Excerpt from group coaching correspondence with Dr David B. Wolf:
B: How are we to have consciousness in the result yet not be attached to the outcome?
D: By being focused on the result, and not how you will achieve said result, while remembering that if you achieve the result, you will be happy and fulfilled because you succeeded, and if you do not achieve the result, you will also be happy and fulfilled because you learned or will learn a valuable lesson from not succeeding, therefore Being happy and fulfilled either way 
David B. Wolf: I’m enlivened by B’s question, and D’s response. The question for me points to the heart of the process of self-realization, of spiritual growth- to cultivate caring and determined non-attachment. “Non-attachment” doesn’t mean apathy, or callousness. With our consciousness in the result we are fully committed, giving 100%. Simultaneously, as D describes, our experience of our essential qualities is not dependent on any particular external result. Such a consciousness illuminates the distinction between commitment, and attachment. We might mistakenly think that the more committed I am, the more attached I must be. Actually, being emotionally attached to a result, which is different than utilizing emotion to inspire us in giving fully, tends to get in the way of fully committing all our resources and energies towards our intended goal.
FROM KYLIE
“The first thing I would like to say is that I have attended personal growth and transformational seminars all over the country for the last thirteen years of life and nothing has touched me so deeply or assisted me so quickly in discovering deeply embedded patterns and also offering the tools or ‘the way out’. I feel that the intelligence that went behind developing the exercises in the exact sequence that they were presented is nothing short of ingenious. I felt really safe and supported by the environment that you create.
The most powerful moment for me was when you shared that the biggest roadblock to communication is stating: ‘I know that’. Hearing that allowed me to listen more vulnerably and openly than I normally or habitually would have, so I appreciate that. I also appreciate the suicide prevention segment, its important and felt important to me in that moment. I am not exactly sure what all the elements are that create such an impactful experience compared to all the other personal growth and spiritual awareness work I have done, but whatever it is please don’t ever stop doing it.
I also appreciate the ongoing ways that you provide for participants to be involved with Satvatove through coaching, further trainings and courses, etc… thanks for changing my life. Thanks for being here on Earth at this time. Both of your caring commitment to humanity and to God shines through like I have never seen and I have met many committed, loving, conscious people. I have never encountered anything like Satvatove before. How powerful. Thank you.”
Kylie Devi
Foundational Seminar – Florida March 2011
EMPATHY INSPIRES ACTION
Excerpt From Relationships That Work: The Power Of Conscious Living
- By David B. Wolf
In the safe and trusting environment created through empathic listening, we are inspired to explore deeply, which often leads to problem-resolution. We may have a great idea how to help someone resolve a challenge, or at least think we do. Reflective listening in sattva guna is based on the assumption that each of us possesses the capacity to handle his or her life with excellence. The necessary qualities and knowledge are within us. Usually it is more powerful to facilitate a person in generating his own solution rather than simply presenting him ours. If I arrive at an idea, I am more likely to commit to it and apply it in my life if it has not been provided by someone else. And often we find that our “great ideas” for someone else aren’t actually so great. Sometimes, because we did not carefully listen, our solutions are based on mistaken assumptions.
In the following case scenario Susan, supported by the reflections of the coach, augments her self-realization and concretizes an action plan.
Susan: I don’t want to encourage him. I think he may fall in love with me. Actually, he said that he is worried about this.
Coach: You’re afraid to give him encouragement. He expressed that he is worried about falling in love with you, and this scares you.
Susan: Yes. At the same time I like him. I don’t want to be unkind. I don’t know what to do.
Responding to the coach’s reflection of content and feeling, Susan broadens her exploration of the matter.
Coach: You want to be nice to him. You don’t want to be mean. You’re afraid to hurt his feelings. And also you’re fearful to attract him to fall in love. This is a conflict inside you.
Susan: Yes. I don’t know how to be with him. Before I was very natural.
Coach: You had a good friendship, and now you’re uncertain how to be with this person. You don’t want to falsely encourage him, and you don’t want to lose him from your life.
Susan: From my side also, I am afraid…to fall in love. But I value our friendship, and don’t want to lose that.
Like peeling the layers of an onion, Susan’s exploration, facilitated by the active listening of the coach, leads her to see beneath the surface of what she initially presented, and to focus on her fears and desires related to a romantic relationship.
Coach: You’re attracted to him, and you’re open to the possibility of a romantic relationship developing. Also, you are worried about losing your friendship with him.
Susan: And this has happened before. In my confusion I just pushed these men friends away. I would be mean.
Susan recognizes a pattern in her behavior, across time and relationships.
Coach: Your habit from the past is that you’d be unkind, and create a situation where they’d leave.
Susan: Yes, but I know I don’t have to be like that.
Through this empathic dialogue, Susan opens to new possibilities about how she can act in relationships. She does not need to be unkind or harsh to others, as a reaction to her own confusion and fear.
Coach: I hear that you really don’t want to put up a wall that will prevent you from whatever relationship could develop, and you know you don’t have to.
Susan: It’s a fear of myself, not trusting myself. Because I don’t trust myself, I don’t assert myself, and play games and put up walls. I don’t want to cause pain.
Coach: You’re scared to really stand for what’s true for you.
Susan: Yes. And it’s important for me to speak with him. I have been so withheld with him, and I do want to directly address this.
Susan clarifies that she wants to directly express herself to her friend about their relationship. For Susan, a result of being heard and understood is that she finds the courage to be clear, to abandon former ineffective relationship habits and to cultivate healthier ways of communicating and relating.
Coach: Just like you’re expressing yourself to me, you want to be able to do that with him, to talk with your friend about what’s going on between you and him.
Susan: He has shown a lot of courage. He did his part in sharing vulnerably with me. Now it’s time for me to do my part.
Coach: You want to reciprocate. He showed courage and you admire that, and now you want to be courageous with him. What’s your plan for this?
Susan: I will talk with him, by next Monday. As soon as possible.
Susan moves from confusion to clarity, and from commitment to action, through this transformative dialogue. Now, for the sake of comparison, suppose the listener had initially responded in the following way:
Susan: I don’t want to encourage him. I think he may fall in love with me. Actually, he said that he is worried about this.
Coach: Definitely you should speak with him. Share openly with him what’s true for you.
Though such advice may sound sensible, when the listener begins by advising, the client misses the opportunity for self-exploration and for generating his or her own personal realizations.
SERVICE
“In any field of endeavor, service entails an ability to listen, and a commitment to understand.”
David B. Wolf
TO SERVE…
“In any field of endeavour, service entails an ability to listen, and a commitment to understand.”
David B. Wolf
FROM DAVID
“This Satvatove 3 was similar to the first two seminars in some ways, but very different in many other ways. And I am hopeful that my sharing about it will attract others to do it themselves, because it’s not just more of the same (although that would also be great): it’s a whole other experience, on a new and different level.
It has catalyzed my being more the master and source of my experience: what I might call the freedom and creativity arising from taking responsibility for my life. In the seminar, there were structures, agreements, and ground rules in place, but I didn’t feel the strictness, or ‘pressure’, from the facilitators to follow them, as I had in the Advanced Course. Whether it was conscious or not (and I haven’t asked them yet), David and Marie seemed to be respecting – almost expecting us – and calling us in that way, to be in charge of our own time, punctuality, commitments, and agreements. I felt empowered and encouraged, respectfully, lovingly and firmly, to go beyond where I’d been; to be the leader I want to be; the creator and master of my own results.
The following statement is becoming more true for me because of that mood in the seminar: ‘Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.’ The name of the seminar, ‘An Adventure in Conscious Living’, suits it to the ‘T’. I got new tools – and experiences of applying them – that will serve me the rest of my life!
Since the seminar, I’ve had many realisations and breakthroughs. Something unique with this one, is that it’s been more deep, subtle and gradual than with the first two. It has been building, and manifesting little by little (and often not so little). Probably one reason that it’s been like this, is because I got in touch with my courage, and saw more clearly that I had been choosing my fear over the courage. The result is that I’ve been more in action, and this has been snowballing.
Almost immediately, I started a new 12-session coaching package with David and Marie. That may not sound so surprising or ‘big’, but considering I’d been procrastinating about it, and giving into the fear around that, for more than a year, it’s very significant; especially when I’ve known all that time that it was the best thing I could do. Another thing I’m doing now, is to delete – or unsubscribe to – at least 50% of the e-mails I get, instead of letting them sit there, forever, thinking ‘Oh, one day I’m going to read this…’ This is apparently small, but it’s indicative of the clarity & decisiveness that started manifesting in the seminar, and is building.
I have never been in a seminar in which the two Satvatove co-founders were facilitating together. Although I know that behind the scenes they’re always collaborating deeply and powerfully, to be with them in the seminar and see them in action together was hugely inspiring and encouraging. To see these two highly committed, focused, powerful and loving personalities together, was an experience in itself, a model of the seminar’s name in action. And to see how sometimes their different, individual approaches came out, and how they spontaneously handled that.
There’s lots more, but I’ll finish here. I thank you, deeply, David and Marie, and Fayenen, for giving me such a rewarding opportunity. I will also be offering ideas and suggestions on possible ways to improve this new seminar, because I know that’s what you all want, and that that is the way that Satvatove works.”
David Aycrigg
Satvatove 3: An Adventure in Conscious Living – September 2010
COMMITMENT-DRIVEN
Excerpt From Relationships That Work: The Power Of Conscious Living
- By David B. Wolf
There is an important distinction between the consciousness of having, and the principle of placing our consciousness in the result. Consciousness in the result is situated on the platform of being. When we place our consciousness in the result, we set the intention as empowered spiritual beings. Then we simply and effectively handle any so-called ‘obstacles’ that present themselves.
The having consciousness is not fixed in being, nor does it trust that our being is complete, balanced and whole. This frame of mind lacks the conviction that the intrinsic nature of the self is a foundation and wellspring of all auspiciousness. With consciousness in the result, we are commitment-driven, rather than history-driven. Commitment-driven means that our vision moves us, inspires our action and connects us with our being. History-driven means being limited by our past; our past experiences and results determine and constrain what is possible now and in our future. My past level of happiness, fulfillment, relationship satisfaction and financial success determines what I believe is possible for me now and into the future. Commitment-driven consciousness recognizes that “till now,” I may have experienced myself as weak, hopeless, a victim, bitter and limited in my achievements by various beliefs and circumstances; but from now on I am a vibrant, successful, inspiring person who boldly declares and manifests his vision.
This is not a process of pushing down the emotional beach ball while trying to think positively. It is cultivating the habit of experiencing the qualities of our spirit. In developing this way of being, it follows naturally that we fully experience whatever emotion surfaces, without denying or resisting it. Simultaneously, we can apply clear intention to create the experience that we want. While acknowledging and experiencing my insecurity, for example, I can manifest clear intention to bring to life feelings of confidence and security. Or, while recognizing that I am feeling stuck and awkward, I can put consciousness in the result to experience spontaneity and openness.
Being compassionate with yourself is one of the keys to unlocking your being. Empathy means connecting with someone where he or she is—and this includes yourself. By accepting and even embracing that I am feeling frightened, I also open up to my courage. By recognizing my selfishness, I am able to appreciate my giving and selfless nature.
As we become expert in this process we may find that grungy states and rackets that formerly lasted for days or weeks may now only be with us for minutes or hours. Simple remembrance of our spiritual nature is also an effective means to achieve a transcendental perspective of healthy, empathic non-attachment toward whatever emotional drama we may be experiencing. Of course, this is understood in the context that emotions such as sadness, anger and hurt, are sometimes natural, and not necessarily grungies.
In defining our commitments, it is helpful to remember that it’s okay to “do our best” in some instances, without specific commitment to a goal. There is an organic process of learning from our actions and reevaluating goals. However, sometimes we want to declare and commit, to ensure that we write the script of our life. Steadfast commitment to a worthy goal moves us to exhibit our finest qualities and reveal the best side of our characters. As Goethe said, “First build a proper goal. The proper goal will make it easy, almost automatic, to build a proper you.”
BELIEF BARRIERS
Excerpt From Relationships That Work: The Power Of Conscious Living
- By David B. Wolf
Perhaps you are familiar with the story of the four-minute mile. It used to be considered an unreachable goal for a human being. In 1954, Roger Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes. Within a year thirty-seven runners had done the same; within two years 300 runners had accomplished this feat. The barrier was not physical. It was a barrier of belief.
What are some belief barriers that you are holding onto? Identify what you are telling yourself—about yourself, about life, about commitment, wealth and happiness—that prevents you from full achievement. It is a principle of creation that things go from subtle to gross. (For example any invention begins subtly, with thought.) Change begins in the world of ideas. What is happening externally is a reflection of what is happening internally. Shining the light of awareness on what is going on inside uncovers creative potential that has been locked away.
Examples of belief barriers in the area of abundance could include “Rich people are cheaters,” “If I am wealthy I can’t be spiritual” and “If I have a lot of money I will lose my friends.” Now, I don’t want to be a cheater, I like to think of myself as spiritual, and I want friends. So if these thoughts are going on inside me, then despite my efforts to improve my financial situation, I will sabotage myself. Perhaps I am maintaining beliefs such as “I am not trustworthy,” “I am not lovable,” or “I am powerless.” Because subtle leads to gross, I will create situations that confirm my sense of not being trustworthy, lovable or powerful.
Looking squarely and concretely at what we are saying to ourselves permits us to change that inner conversation, and transform our lives. French novelist Marcel Proust wrote, “The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands but in seeing with new eyes.” If we are rigidly set in our paradigms (sets of interrelated assumptions that form the way we perceive reality and relate to the world), we may not recognize potential breakthroughs available to us.
Much of this book focuses on changing our experience of life through transforming our communication with others. However, transformative communication begins with awareness and metamorphosis of our communication with ourselves. Exploration of belief barriers is observation of self-communication. In following the process described in this book you will learn principles, strategies and tools to transform this inner talk and profoundly alter your experience of self and the world.
There are numerous examples where “new eyes,” or an alternate perspective, has fostered groundbreaking discovery. In the 1930s, Chester Carlton invented a device that produced photographic images using a specially coated metal plate, bright light and a fine black powder. His supervisor at Kodak Company was not interested in this innovative way of creating images, and did not encourage Carlton’s endeavors. Carlton however persisted. The Xerox company, with a fresh perspective, went on to develop this method for electrostatic photography, and in 1948 introduced the world’s first photocopier.
In the late sixties, Swiss watchmakers enjoyed 65 percent of the world market share. Then Swiss researchers invented a fully electronic, battery-operated quartz-movement watch, more accurate than conventional mechanical watches. Watch manufacturers in Switzerland however didn’t believe that this represented the future of timepieces. Japanese manufacturers acquired the technology from the Swiss, and soon the market was flooded with digital watches. Within a decade Swiss market share had plunged to less than 10 percent.
Not seeing beyond our axiomatic assumptions can be costly. A coaching client once described her realization that while she was in a certain relationship, she wasn’t able to see her boyfriend for who he was. Rather, she saw him through her assumptions, her set of expectations of how she believed he should be. “I had this idea, I just assumed it was true, that because of him our relationship wasn’t working. I was constantly looking at him to find the source of our problems. He had to change; he was never really okay in my eyes. My way of thinking was infectious. At one point he even told me that he’s not good enough for me, just like I’d been projecting onto him. I broke up with him. Now I’m seeing with completely different eyes. I realize that I don’t see myself as good enough. How I was treating him was about what I sense is lacking in me.”
The above examples illustrate the value in examining our assumptions about life. In the process described in these pages you are invited to explore assumptions you hold in each area of your life, and how well they work for you. To effect profound personal change through this process involves being open and willing to learn. This book provides a structure consisting of principles, skills and processes to inspire progress in whatever domain you choose. Our sets of assumptions constitute our conditioning for relating to the world, our box for thinking, feeling and acting.
FROM MADELINE
“My experience with the Satvatove Advanced Seminar was beyond my expectations and imagination. I went with an open mind and ready to break through what ever it was that was stopping me in my life. The experience I had was deep and healing. The staff was amazing in their support and love that felt safe for me during my own process.
It is hard for me to describe the way I feel in a ‘before and after’
Satvatove Advanced, however it is the best thing I have ever done for myself and my growth. Not saying it was all easy for me and pushing myself beyond 100% to make sure I would reach my end goal. And did I reach my end goal you ask? Yes I did and more. The discoveries I made about myself are priceless.
David and Marie knew exactly what I needed during the seminar. Their commitment, knowledge and loving presence was perfect for me. I highly recommend Satvatove Advanced Seminar to anyone who is committed to their self growth and creating the life that they want. Are you committed?”
Rev. Mary Madeline Day – Divine Life Coach ~ EFT Practitioner
Advanced seminar – Florida July 2010
LIVING VS SURVIVING
“There is a distinction between living and surviving. Spiritually based personal growth entails a commitment to living, rather than mere surviving. Surviving is reactive.”
David B Wolf, Relationships That Work
