Posts Tagged ‘increased confidence’
Sunday, May 4th, 2008
I conduct Life Transformation Skills seminars. These seminars provide an environment for spiritually-based personal development. During one part of the training we ask the participants what are some tangible, material things for which people strive. Typically the resulting list looks something like this: cars, computers, a big house, attractive spouse, children, job, jewelry and vacation time. Then we ask why people endeavor for such things. The resulting list includes experiences such as happiness, security, power, intimacy, fulfillment, balance, love, vitality, freedom, strength, courage, joy and affection.
There Is No Intrinsic Connection Between The Things We Strive For And Our Experience
Next, by observing the two lists we consider whether there are persons who possess a large house, a big car and a prestigious job, but who do not experience much joy, power or fulfillment in their lives. Certainly there are. And we consider whether there are persons who experience an abundance of happiness, intimacy and vitality in their lives, although they don’t have the items on the other list. Clearly, such persons exist. The conclusion is that there is no intrinsic connection between the two lists. Although they sometimes overlap, there is no inherent causal link.
Tamas
With reference to the three gunas, let’s look at the lack of innate correlation between the “things” column and the “experience” column. Tamas is a mode of inertia, where our consciousness clings to a paradigm that may be called Have-Do-Be. In this paradigm we think, “If I could just have $100,000 in the bank, a nicer car, a job with paid vacation…then I could do what I want to do, and then I would be happy, satisfied, appreciated, vibrant…” “If I could just have a nicer boss, then I would be content and peaceful.” In this mindset, our experience is dependent on having. The saying, “What profits a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his soul?” indicates the difficulty with this attitude.
Rajas
Rajas is the mode of activity, where we adhere to the framework of Do-Have-Be. In this way of thinking we consider that if I could just do what I want to do, then I’ll have what I want, and then I would be free, strong, giving and vital. Our consciousness starts from the point of activity, and experience is contingent upon that.
Sattva
Sattva guna corresponds with enlightenment. Sattvic consciousness is the natural state of the authentic self. Steady in sattva we live in the paradigm of Be-Do-Have. Fixed in this way of being, experiencing strength, beauty, security, intimacy, warmth, freedom, etc., is not dependent on doing or having. I don’t need to do or have anything to experience satisfaction, aliveness, courage, clarity, etc., because these qualities are who I am, they are my essential nature. It’s not that, in a Be-Do-Have paradigm, there isn’t doing or having. Rather, our doing and having assume full potency, compared with tamasic or rajasic perspectives, because what we do and have flow naturally from our being. They are not separate endeavors. To experience joy, closeness, radiance, and all other qualities of our self is not dependent on what we do or have. In Be-Do-Have, we naturally do things that bold, enlivened, successful people do, because our nature is bold, enlivened and successful. And naturally we’ll have things that powerful, confident, and trusting people have, such as abundance, rewarding activity and fulfilling relationships.
Personal Development Entails Uncovering Qualities of Our Self
Bhagavad-gita, presenting the essence of Vedic teachings, delineates a Be-Do-Have approach to life. In that book Sri Krsna encourages Arjuna to “Be transcendental..be free from dualities…be without anxiety…and be established in the self.” The process of personal development entails uncovering qualities of our self, our being, that have been covered, and fully manifesting them in our lives.
With one coaching client with whom I was working we specifically focused on him being patient and peaceful, qualities that were missing in his life, and which he wanted to cultivate. With earnest he connected with the patience and calm that are inherent to his being. During our next coaching session he described, with surprise, that his supervisor asked him to accept a position with increased responsibility, involving training others. She particularly mentioned that she offered this because of his patience and ability to be calm in stressful situations. Being patient and peaceful naturally resulted in acting in ways that patient and peaceful act, in this instance a more rewarding career activity, and having things that patient and peaceful people have, in this example an increased income. Be-Do-Have.
Tags: Be Transcendental, Bhagavat Gita, Freedom, Human Nature, increased confidence, Living an Authentic Life, Managing Stress, Personal Development, personal transformation, Personality Assesment, Qualities of Our Self, Raja, Rewarding Career, Sattva, Spiritual principles, Success, Tamas, Transformative Communication, Vedic, Vedic Personality
Posted in Articles, Conscious Living, Featured, Living an Authentic Life, North Florida, Personal Development, Personal Development in Florida, Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth | 1 Comment »
Sunday, March 9th, 2008
In the same way that top athletes use coaches to maximize performance, we can use coaching to facilitate excellence in our life.
Coaching supports the achievement of extraordinary results based on goals set by the individual or team. Through the process of coaching, individuals focus on the skills and actions they need to successfully produce their chosen results. Clarity is achieved through the coaching process. Coaching accelerates progress by providing greater focus and awareness of possibilities, leading to more effective choices. Coaching concentrates on where individuals are now and what they are willing to do to get to where they want to be in the future.
Life skills coaching may also include educational and therapeutic elements. Coaching focuses on an individual”s life as it relates to goal setting, outcome creation and personal change management. A coach helps people define what they want and supports them to reach their goals. (i.e. “I want to learn how to create a happy, committed partnership.”)
In the capacity of education, coaching provides people with general or specific information and skill-building opportunities for them to learn what they need to be successful. An assumption that is made in coaching, is that individuals or teams are capable of generating their own solutions with the coach supplying supportive, discovery-based approaches and frameworks. (i.e. “What communication principles and skills will help me to create the relationships I want?).
With regards to therapy, the coach assists individuals in resolving emotional wounds or obstacles that inhibit success in their relationships. (i.e. “My anger started when my father was brutal to my mother.”)
Life skills coaches are trained to listen and observe to customize their approach to the individual client”s needs, and elicit solutions and strategies from the client. They believe that the client is naturally creative and resourceful. The coach”s role is to provide support to enhance the skills, resources and creativity that the client already possesses. While the coach provides feedback and an objective perspective, the client is responsible for taking the steps to produce the results he or she desires. Coaching does not directly focus on treating cognitive or emotional disorders. While positive feelings or emotions may be a natural outcome of coaching, the primary focus is on creating strategies for achieving specific goals in one”s life.
Individuals who engage in a coaching relationship can expect to experience:
fresh perspectives on personal challenges and opportunities
enhanced thinking and decision making skills
enhanced interpersonal effectiveness
increased confidence in carrying out their chosen work and life roles.
Coaching helps people productively focus on areas of life that are most essential to them, whether it is career, relationships, health or spirituality. People today are more open to the idea of being in charge of their own lives. Coaching helps people do just that.
The individual coaching client is someone who wants to achieve higher levels of satisfaction, performance and learning. People utilize coaches to increase quality of life and learn more effective life skills.Clients typically work with a coach because they want to achieve one of the following goals:
Fulfillment goal- a balanced life, satisfying relationships, enthusiasm, or connection with one”s spirituality.
Learning goal- improving public speaking skills; increasing patience with colleagues, children and other; learning to practice self-care; learning to mediate disputes; and developing consistency.
Performance goal- improving business as a business owner, meeting daily standards for numbers of contacts with potential clients, clearing away clutter.
Frequently, a coach works with clients in all three of these areas simultaneously. For example, a client may want to improve her or his small business results (a performance goal), as measured by the amount of sales per customer. In the process of identifying what needs to happen to create that result, the client may discover a need to contact more potential customer. In order to do so she or he may have to become a better networker (a learning goal). As the client begins to concentrates more on networking, she or he discovers that less time is spent at home. Thus a new goal is established: to spend more quality time with family members because of the desire to be a loving and caring parent (a fulfillment goal).
The author of the Inner Game of Tennis, Timothy W. Gallway writes: “The coach is not the problem solver. In sport, I had to learn how to teach less, so that more could be learned. The same holds true for a coach in business.”
Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur, a renowned yogi and Vedic scholar, writes in his book Amrita Vani: “A person”s defects are better rectified in a private tutorial class or private coaching than in hearing lectures in a school or college.”
Coaching helps one develop personal character, manifest the authentic qualities of the self, and enhance one”s spiritual life.
Satvatove Institute is an international coaching enterprise with its headquarters in Alachua, Florida. At Satvatove Institute, we are trained to guide you to change life habits and accomplish the exceptional results you desire. Coaching is about you, your life, work, goals, needs, desires and dreams. We like to think of coaching as offering our clients a “sacred space” to share and explore and try on new ways of thinking and being.
Tags: achievement, career, Clarity, health, increased confidence, Life Coaching, Life Skills, maximize performance, performance, relationships, skill-building, spirituality, therapeutic
Posted in Life Coaching, Life Skills | No Comments »
