Posts Tagged ‘power’
ASSERTIVENESS
Excerpt From Relationships That Work: The Power Of Conscious Living
- By David B. Wolf
It happens to all of us that at times we have something difficult to say, something that might be unpleasant for others to hear. How should we go about expressing ourselves? There are three basic ways to do so, which correspond to the three main modes of material nature, as discussed before. These three modes are passivity, aggressiveness and assertiveness. Corresponding qualities connected with each mode of expression are given below.
| Passivity | Aggressiveness | Assertiveness |
| scared | abrasive | bold |
| insecure | Cocky | confident |
| Nervous | Harsh | considerate |
| Inhibited | Bully | secure |
| Anxious | Arrogant | empathetic |
| self-deprecating | Insensitive | straightforward |
| Indecisive | Loud | honest |
| Weak | Obnoxious | courageous |
| Fragile | Selfish | open |
It is obvious that assertiveness is the most desirable form of expression. Consider the following example. Say that Robert has agreed with his wife Lisa that he will be home from work at 6 p.m., and that he will call if he is late. How will she react when he comes home at midnight several nights in a row without calling her? In a passive mode, she may not say anything out of fear of disturbing the peace, whereas inside herself she may be building anger and mistrust. This is related to the mode of tamas, which is characterized by fear and inactivity. In an aggressive mode she may scream and threaten Robert. This correlates with the mode of rajas, symptomized by reactivity.
Neither of these modes is likely to create productive communication. If Lisa is passive, Robert may not even be aware that there is a problem, and may appreciate his wife for her tolerance and understanding. If she is aggressive, decent communication is likely to be hindered as well, and Robert may either withdraw or answer with hostility from his side. None of these exchanges—fight or flight—culminates in frank and satisfying discussion.
With passivity, Lisa’s implicit message is: “You count. I don’t.” With aggressiveness it is: “I count. You don’t.” Assertiveness conveys, “You matter, as do I.” In assertiveness we take a stand, make our voice heard, in a way that honors others. Assertiveness is simultaneously bold and empathic, courageous and considerate. This quality of assertiveness is inherent to our integrity as human beings. A life of integrity entails expressing what we are meant to express in an honest and gentle way. Lacking this, we live a life controlled by fear. Integrity also demands that in expressing ourselves we are respectful of others, and that in claiming our rights we also honor the rights of others. Assertiveness means that even if we are expressing a truth that may be difficult or painful for others to receive, we are not doing it in a hurtful way. It is possible to speak about that which is unpleasant without actually being unpleasant. Rather than attempting to do damage, we endeavor to understand and to be understood—from a place of compassion.
BOLDNESS…
“Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
FROM ARBERESHA
“It’s very beautiful to see how you take every person seriously and how you create an atmosphere of love and power, or better – how you teach us to create this atmosphere.
I realised that I lose nothing when I take a person seriously. No! I win…”
Arberesha
RESPONSIBILTY
“When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other. Therefore, if you decide to take responsibility for your circumstances, you automatically tap into the power to change them.”
Dr Stephen R Covey
FROM ERICA
“I am so grateful for the opportunity Satvatove provided me to connect with my true authentic self. The self realizations that have occurred have been so powerful and I feel my life has transformed. I will choose to embrace the awareness I have gained and to go further into my own self growth forever. Life is awesome.”
Erica Miller
Advanced seminar – Florida November 2010
FROM DAVID
“This Satvatove 3 was similar to the first two seminars in some ways, but very different in many other ways. And I am hopeful that my sharing about it will attract others to do it themselves, because it’s not just more of the same (although that would also be great): it’s a whole other experience, on a new and different level.
It has catalyzed my being more the master and source of my experience: what I might call the freedom and creativity arising from taking responsibility for my life. In the seminar, there were structures, agreements, and ground rules in place, but I didn’t feel the strictness, or ‘pressure’, from the facilitators to follow them, as I had in the Advanced Course. Whether it was conscious or not (and I haven’t asked them yet), David and Marie seemed to be respecting – almost expecting us – and calling us in that way, to be in charge of our own time, punctuality, commitments, and agreements. I felt empowered and encouraged, respectfully, lovingly and firmly, to go beyond where I’d been; to be the leader I want to be; the creator and master of my own results.
The following statement is becoming more true for me because of that mood in the seminar: ‘Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.’ The name of the seminar, ‘An Adventure in Conscious Living’, suits it to the ‘T’. I got new tools – and experiences of applying them – that will serve me the rest of my life!
Since the seminar, I’ve had many realisations and breakthroughs. Something unique with this one, is that it’s been more deep, subtle and gradual than with the first two. It has been building, and manifesting little by little (and often not so little). Probably one reason that it’s been like this, is because I got in touch with my courage, and saw more clearly that I had been choosing my fear over the courage. The result is that I’ve been more in action, and this has been snowballing.
Almost immediately, I started a new 12-session coaching package with David and Marie. That may not sound so surprising or ‘big’, but considering I’d been procrastinating about it, and giving into the fear around that, for more than a year, it’s very significant; especially when I’ve known all that time that it was the best thing I could do. Another thing I’m doing now, is to delete – or unsubscribe to – at least 50% of the e-mails I get, instead of letting them sit there, forever, thinking ‘Oh, one day I’m going to read this…’ This is apparently small, but it’s indicative of the clarity & decisiveness that started manifesting in the seminar, and is building.
I have never been in a seminar in which the two Satvatove co-founders were facilitating together. Although I know that behind the scenes they’re always collaborating deeply and powerfully, to be with them in the seminar and see them in action together was hugely inspiring and encouraging. To see these two highly committed, focused, powerful and loving personalities together, was an experience in itself, a model of the seminar’s name in action. And to see how sometimes their different, individual approaches came out, and how they spontaneously handled that.
There’s lots more, but I’ll finish here. I thank you, deeply, David and Marie, and Fayenen, for giving me such a rewarding opportunity. I will also be offering ideas and suggestions on possible ways to improve this new seminar, because I know that’s what you all want, and that that is the way that Satvatove works.”
David Aycrigg
Satvatove 3: An Adventure in Conscious Living – September 2010
FROM SUE
“In this course I realized many things about myself that I was keeping deep inside, or that I know but didn’t really want to face or name. I mostly learned about my “dark side”, the things that I couldn’t be proud to say I have, I learned about my deepest fears, and where they are really coming from. I learned about my desires in life, my hopes and my dreams. I also learned how to look at life from the positive side and how much the thoughts I have or the way I see things influence the way my life will manifest, turn out to be. I learned that I am a pure, powerful, beautiful person who has full power and control over her life and there is nothing and nobody to fear. I am sure that if I will continue to practice what I have learnt in this seminar I will be able to fully realize it and make it really happen. I am sure that this course will have a good effect on my spiritual practice, and will help me become the person I want to be.”
Sukhayanti
WORD & DEED
“Power is actualized only when word and deed have not parted company.”
Hannah Arendt
FROM MARIA
“Because of the Advanced Seminar, I feel like I‘ve opened a whole new doorway into my life. So many previous negative patterns are obvious to me now, and I feel like my power to create my life and live from conscious choice are obvious too. Life has so much more joy for me than it ever has. I am making my whole family do this!!!!”
Maria Carter
Advanced seminar – Florida July 2010
THE NATURE OF SPIRIT
Excerpt From Relationships That Work: The Power Of Conscious Living
- By David B. Wolf
Great wisdom traditions affirm that our nature reflects the supreme. In Genesis, for example, it is said that we are created in the image of God. What is this supreme nature that we represent? Is it fearful? Confused? Resentful? Weak? Overwhelmed with anxiety? When I think of divine nature, I envision qualities such as power, vitality, fearlessness, contentment and compassion. In accord with the world’s major wisdom traditions, my conviction is that our fundamental nature is spiritual and sacred, inherently balanced, whole and complete. This understanding underlies the principles and process of this book.
The Vedic body of spiritual knowledge that has inspired much of my thought describes the central qualities of our spirit as sat, chit and ananda. This means that we are constitutionally eternal, conscious and blissful. We can understand something about this nature by observing ourselves. For example, whether through anti-lock brakes or thermonuclear devices, much of our energy is employed in eluding death. Why? Because as spiritual beings we are not meant to die. Each of us seeks to expand our consciousness, perhaps through a study of history, philosophy or maybe through the politics and economics of the day. We strive for happiness, knowledge and eternity in so many ways, but often do not find the joy and fulfillment we seek. This indicates that our activities may be misdirected, with respect to spiritual development, and leads us to wonder, “What is my essential activity as a spiritual being?”
