Posts Tagged ‘Spiritual principles’
Wednesday, July 21st, 2010
Excerpt From Relationships That Work: The Power Of Conscious Living
- By David B. Wolf
Expressions such as awakening, enlightenment, self-improvement and personal development have become household words. But what do they really mean? What is it that awakens or enlightens? What is the self that improves? Who is the one that develops?
Through science we know that the body continuously changes and transforms itself. Not one cell in your body now was part of your five-year-old body. Yet when you look at a childhood photo you think, “That is me when I was five,” although the body is completely different. So how do we recognize ourselves? Clearly there is something that remains the same, apart from bodily and even mental changes. This something indicates an identity separate from the body and mind, an unchanging spiritual essence. It is to this spiritual essence that the world’s wisdom traditions point.
The focal point for spiritual principles of personal growth is our true identity beyond the physical body and subtle mind. To be satisfying and complete, our self-help endeavors must recognize this non-physical self. It is common to lose connection with this essential self, even without awareness that we have done so. Soren Kierkegaard once stated, “The greatest danger, that of losing one’s own self, may pass off quietly as if it were nothing; every other loss, that of an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, is sure to be noticed.”
Athato brahma jijnasa. This well-known Sanskrit aphorism helps me to remember my spiritual identity and purpose in life. The meaning of the adage is “Now is the time to inquire into the nature of Ultimate reality.” It signifies that now that we possess a human form of life, we have a responsibility to deliberate about spiritual matters. There is some obvious importance in fulfilling the needs of the body, such as eating, sleeping and shelter; However, if our inquiries and endeavors do not extend beyond that, then we are not realizing the capacity of our spirit. If I buy an expensive computer and use it as a doorstop, it will not fulfill its actual potential. Just as the computer can accomplish much more than stopping a door, so we too can use our bodies, mind and intelligence for elevating our consciousness for the purpose of spiritual progress.
Since the word “spiritual” is used in a variety of ways, it is important to define my understanding of the term. By spiritual I mean beyond, or not limited by, materially based identifications—such as “I am thin,” “I am the mother of this child,” “I look great in a suit,” “I am a member of this religion” or “I am a very disciplined person.” These appellations apply to the covering of the spirit self, but not to the actual self.
I drive a Toyota. Naturally I care for the car, keeping it tuned up and filled with the right fluids. But if I think that my own thirst is quenched when I fill the car with gasoline, I am under an illusion and will not be satisfied. I do not believe that I am Japanese just because the car was made in Japan, any more than I would believe myself to be German if I were driving a Mercedes Benz. Clearly this is a foolish idea. Yet if we identify with designations that apply to the temporary body (the vehicle) rather than the spiritual self, we are making the same mistake. Just as the owner of the car changes to another car when the old one is finished, our spirit changes to another body at the time of death. Recognizing and attending to material designations or roles may serve the spiritual journey, just as an automobile can facilitate travel to the destination. But misidentification of the self with these designations is a diversion from our pursuit of spiritual understanding. It often leads to many unhealthy isms, such as nationalism, sexism and racism.
Bodies change, spiritual identity remains. Thoughts also change. Some bring a smile to our face, others are embarrassing. Some are practical, some are outlandish. But we are not our thoughts. So what is the nature of this thing that thinks, that uses fingers to write with a keyboard, that peers through eyes that read, “So what is the nature of this thing that thinks…”?
Tags: Conscious Living, David B. Wolf, EST, Personal Development, Relationships That Work, spiritual essence, spiritual identity, Spiritual principles, true identity
Posted in Excerpts From Relationships Book, Relationships That Work | No Comments »
Sunday, July 4th, 2010
“Participating in the Satvatove programs has brought into my life such profound awareness for my personal/spiritual growth that I did not imagine possible in such a short span of time. I also received very useful and practical tools and skills for life. My experience of the Satvatove programs is that it penetrates to the level of the soul helping cut through the conditioning that blocked me from experiencing the real immense joy of connecting with my soul’s original constitution. I believe that the potency of these programs to create such a depth of transformation in people is due to the profound spiritual principles it is based on and exemplified by the Satvatove coaches/facilitators. I wish every human being the opportunity to experience these programs and to find fulfillment in their journey of personal/spiritual transformation.”
Brajarani dasi
Tags: awareness, fulfillment, Satvatove, spiritual growth, Spiritual principles, spiritual transformation, transformation
Posted in Testimonials | No Comments »
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
I get to chant my rounds!
The morning after a 3-day transformative communication course I conducted in Brooklyn, I encountered a woman who had just completed the seminar. She was excited and had an experience she was eager to share with me. In the spiritual community where she lived she had taken a vow to chant daily a prescribed number of mantras on beads. She exclaimed, “This morning I realized that I don’t have to chant my rounds! I don’t have to chant my rounds!” Her exhilaration filled the air with a sense of liberation. Seeing me puzzled as to why she was happy to give up her vow, she went on, “I get to chant my rounds! I get to chant my rounds!” She then explained how that morning she had begun to finger her beads and chant a few mantras. For the first time in her decades of experience tears flowed from her eyes while chanting. For the first time her attitude wasn’t “I have to chant my rounds.”
Authentic mantra chanting and high-level communication practices are two complementary vehicles through which we can utilize sound vibration to realize our spiritual identity and connect with the innermost stratum of the living soul.
A genuine mantra is a potent transformational vibration. “Mantra” means spiritual sound vibration that extricates the mind from material entanglement. Jill Bormann has conducted research on mantra meditation with various populations including military veterans. She describes meditative time with a mantra as a “Jacuzzi for the mind. It’s something you can use to focus and calm yourself at a moment’s notice, …it doesn’t require money, and it’s non-toxic… a person just needs to make it a part of their lives.” My personal favorite mantra for meditation is one of India’s most beloved, the Maha Mantra. Studies have shown that this 16-word mantra reduces stress and depression and increases qualities such as balance, fulfillment, and sense of life purpose.
In our programs we focus on transformation through communication. Awareness of how we use sound to influence our consciousness and environment is a powerful approach to personal and interpersonal development. In the beginning was the word. Just as the divine creates with sound, we can productively examine what we generate in our life with our sounds.
For example, to what extent do we build roadblocks to effective communication through responses that convey messages of invalidation, disempowerment, or self-absorption? This might take the form of unnecessarily advising or warning, shallow praise, avoidance of vital issues, or prematurely giving solutions. Effective listening is essential for the creation of the sacred space that is crucial for life-enriching relationships. Such listening focuses on what the other person is saying- not what we’re saying to ourselves about what the other is saying. In our expression we can consider the degree to which we communicate from fear, neediness, and insecurity, as opposed to purpose, joy and inspiration. Through three days of intense immersion in transformative communication the mantra yogini shifted her consciousness from “I have to…”- burdensome, obligatory, and mechanical- to “I get to…”- vibrant, inspired, and fresh.
Tags: Bible, Brooklyn, Jill Bormann, Life Purpose, Maha Mantra, Mantra Meditation, Roadblocks To Communication, Spiritual principles, Transformative Communication, Yogini
Posted in Conscious Living, Living an Authentic Life, Transformative Communication | No Comments »
Sunday, May 4th, 2008
I conduct Life Transformation Skills seminars. These seminars provide an environment for spiritually-based personal development. During one part of the training we ask the participants what are some tangible, material things for which people strive. Typically the resulting list looks something like this: cars, computers, a big house, attractive spouse, children, job, jewelry and vacation time. Then we ask why people endeavor for such things. The resulting list includes experiences such as happiness, security, power, intimacy, fulfillment, balance, love, vitality, freedom, strength, courage, joy and affection.
There Is No Intrinsic Connection Between The Things We Strive For And Our Experience
Next, by observing the two lists we consider whether there are persons who possess a large house, a big car and a prestigious job, but who do not experience much joy, power or fulfillment in their lives. Certainly there are. And we consider whether there are persons who experience an abundance of happiness, intimacy and vitality in their lives, although they don’t have the items on the other list. Clearly, such persons exist. The conclusion is that there is no intrinsic connection between the two lists. Although they sometimes overlap, there is no inherent causal link.
Tamas
With reference to the three gunas, let’s look at the lack of innate correlation between the “things” column and the “experience” column. Tamas is a mode of inertia, where our consciousness clings to a paradigm that may be called Have-Do-Be. In this paradigm we think, “If I could just have $100,000 in the bank, a nicer car, a job with paid vacation…then I could do what I want to do, and then I would be happy, satisfied, appreciated, vibrant…” “If I could just have a nicer boss, then I would be content and peaceful.” In this mindset, our experience is dependent on having. The saying, “What profits a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his soul?” indicates the difficulty with this attitude.
Rajas
Rajas is the mode of activity, where we adhere to the framework of Do-Have-Be. In this way of thinking we consider that if I could just do what I want to do, then I’ll have what I want, and then I would be free, strong, giving and vital. Our consciousness starts from the point of activity, and experience is contingent upon that.
Sattva
Sattva guna corresponds with enlightenment. Sattvic consciousness is the natural state of the authentic self. Steady in sattva we live in the paradigm of Be-Do-Have. Fixed in this way of being, experiencing strength, beauty, security, intimacy, warmth, freedom, etc., is not dependent on doing or having. I don’t need to do or have anything to experience satisfaction, aliveness, courage, clarity, etc., because these qualities are who I am, they are my essential nature. It’s not that, in a Be-Do-Have paradigm, there isn’t doing or having. Rather, our doing and having assume full potency, compared with tamasic or rajasic perspectives, because what we do and have flow naturally from our being. They are not separate endeavors. To experience joy, closeness, radiance, and all other qualities of our self is not dependent on what we do or have. In Be-Do-Have, we naturally do things that bold, enlivened, successful people do, because our nature is bold, enlivened and successful. And naturally we’ll have things that powerful, confident, and trusting people have, such as abundance, rewarding activity and fulfilling relationships.
Personal Development Entails Uncovering Qualities of Our Self
Bhagavad-gita, presenting the essence of Vedic teachings, delineates a Be-Do-Have approach to life. In that book Sri Krsna encourages Arjuna to “Be transcendental..be free from dualities…be without anxiety…and be established in the self.” The process of personal development entails uncovering qualities of our self, our being, that have been covered, and fully manifesting them in our lives.
With one coaching client with whom I was working we specifically focused on him being patient and peaceful, qualities that were missing in his life, and which he wanted to cultivate. With earnest he connected with the patience and calm that are inherent to his being. During our next coaching session he described, with surprise, that his supervisor asked him to accept a position with increased responsibility, involving training others. She particularly mentioned that she offered this because of his patience and ability to be calm in stressful situations. Being patient and peaceful naturally resulted in acting in ways that patient and peaceful act, in this instance a more rewarding career activity, and having things that patient and peaceful people have, in this example an increased income. Be-Do-Have.
Tags: Be Transcendental, Bhagavat Gita, Freedom, Human Nature, increased confidence, Living an Authentic Life, Managing Stress, Personal Development, personal transformation, Personality Assesment, Qualities of Our Self, Raja, Rewarding Career, Sattva, Spiritual principles, Success, Tamas, Transformative Communication, Vedic, Vedic Personality
Posted in Articles, Conscious Living, Featured, Living an Authentic Life, North Florida, Personal Development, Personal Development in Florida, Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth | 1 Comment »
Sunday, March 9th, 2008
$14.95 – Limited Edition
 | - Live From Your Spiritual Core
- Transcend Limiting Patterns Of Thought & Behavior
- Achieve Excellence In Career, Relationships & Health
- Create Relationships Founded In Understanding,
Compassion & Spiritual Principles - Connect With Courage, Inspiration & Wisdom To Create Profound Change In Your Self & Your Environment
|
“This relationships book will touch the heart of every reader… Dr. Wolf’s unique ability to blend spiritual knowledge with practical advice makes Relationships That Work a must read for anyone seeking self-understanding and better communication…. Reading this book forced me to pause and reflect about the nature of my own life. This book is a worthy experience in today’s fast-paced modern world where doing and having often become facile substitutes for being.” - E. Burke Rochford Jr., Professor of Sociology and Religion, Middlebury College
Over 30 Years Experience
Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living- How Transformative Communication Can Change Your Life contains four main sections. They are Spiritual Principles of Personal Growth, Transformative Communication: Creating Sacred Space, Be-Do-Have: A Paradigm for Conscious Living, and Realizing the Power of Conscious Living. In this relationships book Dr. David Wolf brings his 30+ years of experience in facilitation, counselor and coach training, and social and mental health services to provide you with a uniquely effective approach to a fulfilling life and satisfying relationships.
“Relationships That Work is straightforward and sublime, practical and profound. David’s relationships book inspires us to full expression in our lives. It is an experiential education, providing communication tools that open us to our spiritual journey.” – Sandy Grason, author of Journalution: Journaling to Awaken Your Inner Voice, Heal Your Life and Manifest Your Dreams
Transforming Lives
Transformative Communication, a communication-based foundation for self-realization, forms the basis for Relationships That Work. This relationships book is founded on the premise that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and provides practical exercises and principles for you to master strategies for high-level communication.
You will be guided to recognize patterns of assumptions by which you’ve been living your life, and to replace unhealthy and ineffective belief systems with truths and principles rooted in your core spiritual identity. This relationships book will support you to step out of your past, taking from it what is valuable and leaving behind the rest. Through processes of courageous introspection described in this book, you are empowered to connect with what is vitally important, and live with intentionality to manifest your highest purpose.
“This is an extraordinarily compelling and practical relationships book on becoming a master of communication. Read it, apply the strategies and principles, and enhance your life and influence beyond what you thought possible!” - T. Harv Eker, author of the #1 NY Times Bestselling book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.
The Most Important Book You Will Read This Year
With Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living, David Wolf presents a universal, spiritually-centered and communication-based approach to powerful and satisfying relationships. Through his system of Transformative Communication David reveals in this relationships book a sublime and accessible model for realizing our spiritual selves while achieving our most cherished goals in all life dimensions.
Apply the strategies of conscious living described in the pages of this relationships book, and connect with the courage, inspiration and wisdom to create profound change in your self and your world.
Dr. David Wolf, author of Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living, has facilitated seminars and workshops in more than a dozen countries, and has been extensively featured as a communications expert on media outlets such as Fox News and CNN News.
“Sometimes you find a book, and sometimes a book finds you. There is no doubt that the profound wisdom and lessons in this relationships book will find their way into the souls of millions of people around the world. No ifs, ands or buts – Dr. Wolf gives you the blueprint on how to be an influence-maker in your life and the lives of others.”
— Burke Hedges, author of 7 books with over 4 million books in print,
including the bestseller “Who Stole the American Dream?”
“In this relationships book David Wolf has provided us with a clear, accessible summary of key principles that have guided his life and work for decades. Distilled in this way, they illuminate problems in perception and communication that, left unchecked, can undermine good intentions and derail otherwise solid relationships. His years of training, practice and leadership in human relations and social welfare have converged here, providing readers with straightforward guidance in looking more deeply into their own tendencies and those of their loved ones and associates. By encouraging us to reflect, reframe, and act with clear intention, he gently directs us down a path to greater understanding of the opportunities and options available in both personal and professional relations.”
Neil Abell, Ph.D, LCSW
Associate Professor
College of Social Work
Florida State University
“During the past six years I have participated in several of David Wolf’s phenomenal workshops. They have been a life changing experience for myself and the other workshop participants. In his new book, ‘Relationships That Work: The Power of Conscious Living’, David Wolf shares with us the basic principles he covers in his workshops as well as the tools he teaches to make our lives more balanced and satisfying. Once we appreciate that our fundamental nature is spiritual and sacred, we are able to unlock the inner qualities that increase our ability to please others, and in doing so, make our lives more satisfying. You will learn how to effectively listen to others, become more empathetic, understand the roadblocks to communication, and remove self-imposed limitations. Like the workshops, this relationships book teaches us how to live our lives from the vantage point of choice rather than fear. As you read this book you are likely to have profound insights into your own psyche that will help you achieve a better understanding of yourself and how to improve your life. Thank you David for sharing these principles and tools in a book that will surely have a profound impact on our lives.”
Miriam Mendoza, Teacher- New York City Public School
Tags: career, Conscious Living, David Wolf, effective communication, health, relationships, Relationships That Work, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, spiritual growth, Spiritual principles, T. Harv Eker
Posted in | 2 Comments »
Sunday, March 9th, 2008
An Uplifting, Purpose-Filled Spiritual Pursuit
Self-awareness moves us to choose life-enriching principles by which to live, some of which, such as Be-Do-Have, clear intention, and keeping agreements, have been described in previous articles. Spiritual principles for personal growth are universal, and thus, even if we are not able to articulate them, they are familiar, being inherent to our core being. Without actively applying these principles, we run the danger that our existence becomes a sort of animalistic struggle for survival, rather than an uplifting, purpose-filled spiritual pursuit.
What is Our Presentation to the World?
Each of us has a presentation to the world. Sometimes this presentation is authentic, where what is presented outside is consistent with what is happening inside. At other times our presentation is not genuine. We wear masks, facades.
Living From Choice
A spiritual principle of self-development is to live from choice, rather than from fear. Transforming our relationship with fear is an essential process of spiritual growth. Though fear may be present, instead of it being a cue to withdraw it becomes a signal to step forward and courageously take a risk. Sometimes we may put up masks from choice, such as deliberately responding that we are fine, although we don’t feel that way, because we simply don’t want to enter into conversation about our troubles. What we are addressing here is when we wear masks out of fear.
Masks take diverse forms, as varied as our personalities. There is the “happy” mask, where we want to be seen as a happy person, regardless of what may be going on inside. Being “strong” can be a mask, as can being “the class clown”, or “intellectual”. Playing the victim, or the “spiritualist”, or the helpless person, are other forms of facades.
What is Our Authentic Presentation to the World?
Of course, each of the types of masks listed above are not always masks. Each of us has a genuine happy and joyful side, an authentic intellectual way of being, a sense of humor, a strong side, a fragile side. It is when we feel we have to be a certain way, rather than choosing to be that way, that our authenticity is compromised. If I “have to” appear as “spiritual”, at the expense of acknowledging to the world, and perhaps to myself, desires or emotions that seem non-spiritual, then my spirituality is a mask and not a genuine disposition. If I feel I have to show myself as an intellectual, even at times when I would really like to drop that front and be playful, spontaneous, or emotionally expressive, then my intellectuality is a mask.
Are We Exhausted Yet?
Most of us spend much of our energy holding up masks, and pushing down experiences that we resist acknowledging. It is like holding a beach ball underwater, which requires a lot of effort to keep it down. After a while we become exhausted. A characteristic of readiness for spiritual growth is that we are exhausted with holding down our emotional beach ball. That is not how we want to spend our life energy any longer.
Living and Surviving
There is a distinction between living and surviving. Spiritually-based personal growth entails a commitment to living, rather than mere surviving. Surviving is reactive. We are in reaction to the beach ball. Holding our head above the surface, maybe putting on a smile, we show that we are in control. Actually, though, it is a pretense of control. Wherever the submerged ball moves, we move with it, not daring to allow it to be seen. It shifts here or there, and we follow. Who or what is in control? Even if we manage with great effort to keep it under, it is noticed.
Perhaps we conceal our rage, not knowing an acceptable means for its expression. But it comes out in different ways, like our irritability or loss of temper at petty things. It is similar with other components of our emotional beach ball, such as shame. Though we don’t want the world to see our sense of shame, or to recognize it ourselves, it drives our life, pervades our experience and relationships with feeling of inadequacy, of being inherently defective. It prevents us from fully sharing ourselves.
Strategies For Survival
A strategy for survival is to maintain the appearance of control. By doing this, the mask stays up, and the beach ball down. This is related to other strategies of survival, such as avoiding pain, looking good, and being right. “Looking good” means that we are invested in an appearance, rather than in being authentic. For each of us that inauthentic appearance has different forms, as explained in relation to our masks. For some of us looking good might mean showing ourselves as the strong helper. For some, looking good might mean “looking bad”, the rebel, the defiant person who doesn’t accept authority. Of course, blindly accepting authority is no virtue, though neither is indiscriminately resisting it.
“Being right” refers to a strategy where what becomes important is being right with another person, instead of genuinely being with another person. We get to be right, feel superior and self-righteous, at the expense of the closeness, understanding and intimacy we truly desire.
Strategies For Living
A life-enriching strategy conducive for the complete manifestation of our spiritual being is to participate fully in our lives, to give 100%. Not showing up fully for our own lives is at the core of self-sabotaging strategies. In fact, it is the foundation of repeating self-defeating cycles, because by not committing fully we restrict our potential to learn through experience. Acquiring wisdom involves granting ourselves the permission to make mistakes through which we learn.
A term like “experience fully” may evoke images of abandoning one’s intelligence or reason. Actually, to be fully present includes being completely available with all our faculties, including our mind and intelligence. Conscious living entails utilizing our intelligence to enrich and inform our experience. There is a distinction between employing mind and intelligence to enhance our complete contribution and presence, and using our analytical capacity as a barrier to experience. Making distinctions and judgments are a natural function of intelligence. Hiding behind those judgments is a survival strategy, borne of fear, that limits our growth, connection and experience.
Living in the Moment
Related to this, there is also an important distinction between living in the moment, and living for the moment. Living in the moment is being present, with all our qualities and capacities available. In the well known Indian scripture the Bhagavad-gita, Sri Krsna describes a person in this state as being free from lamentation about the past and hankering for the future. He is satisfied in the present. This is not the same as living for the moment, where we may whimsically abandon good sense for immediate gratification. Conscious, present living includes learning from the past, and planning for the future. In doing this, we don’t wallow in lamentation, nor do we brood in anxiety.
Giving ourselves fully to our experience is not the same as wallowing in distressing emotion. When we allow ourselves to fully experience, we feel clean, complete, resolved and ready for the next experience. To wallow in a feeling is a way of holding on to it, rather than letting it go by truly experiencing it completely.
To summarize, some common strategies for survival are being right, looking good, avoiding pain, maintaining the appearance of control, and hiding behind judgments. Life-enhancing strategies include participating fully in our lives, being courageous, suspending judgments, being vulnerable, and living with a sense of urgency.
Tags: agreement, authentic, being courageous, Bhagavad-gita, Conscious Living, joy, relationships, Self-awareness, spiritual, spiritual growth, Spiritual principles, spirituality, suspending judgments
Posted in Articles, Conscious Living, Life Skills, Living an Authentic Life, North Florida, Personal Development, Personal Development in Florida | 1 Comment »
